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TOPIC: Really, really terrible joke!

Really, really terrible joke! 20 May 2012 22:59 #1

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I've no idea where to put this but I thought that here would do...

My OH regaled me with the most groan-worthy joke this evening that he made up off the top of his head, so I thought I'd share it with you! I was eating my way through a bag of chocolate eclairs (the toffee sweets with chocolate in the middle!) when I casually enquired, "I wonder why eclairs are so-called?". To which Mr. Quietgirl replied, "They were invented hundreds of years ago in Yorkshire by a woman called Claire Prendergast. Her husband tried one after she made a batch, and he said, "Ee Claire, these are good!". "Ee Claire", "eclair" - geddit? Groan! :iitm: :chuckle:

Quite, quite mad...

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 20 May 2012 23:07 #2

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:D Tell him not to quit the day-job just yet, Mandy!
There is no such thing as Thin Air: Thin Air is full of the particles of creation.

Take something that costs you nothing but effort;
And practice, practice, practice until you make it something fabulous.

"...Wyrde saves oft the man undoomed
If he undaunted be....". (Beowulf)....
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 20 May 2012 23:08 #3

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cantata wrote:
:D Tell him not to quit the day-job just yet, Mandy!

:chuckle:
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 20 May 2012 23:11 #4

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cantata wrote:
:D Tell him not to quit the day-job just yet, Mandy!

Actually, he's thinking of putting in for retirement soon! I don't think though he's aiming for a second career as a stand-up comedian, thankfully! :D

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 00:32 #5

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Which footballer involved in last nights final is most renowned for his corners?









Muller.

:marx:
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 01:23 #6

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You all owe me approximately 35 seconds of my life :aargh:



:spliff:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 01:53 #7

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whats brown and sticky?




















































a twig
my limbless friend will die alone
a torso of flesh upon the throne

Violence is not the answer, it is the question. the answer is yes.
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 01:56 #8

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batou wrote:
whats brown and sticky?




















































a twig

:norty:
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 02:54 #9

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Ok, I don't get it :emb:


:poke:
the anorak hides the fact that sean is composed of 95% vaginas
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 08:46 #10

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@ Manfully, that's wierd cos I dreamed of choccie eclairs t'other day.

@ batou is the answer poo?
Last Edit: 21 May 2012 08:47 by domathy.
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 10:06 #11

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psketti wrote:
Ok, I don't get it :emb:


:poke:

Hahaha, your bewilderment is the funniest part of the thread so far, psketti :D


(Has the penny dropped now? A twig is like a stick... stick-like = sticky; not "gooey sticky"...) :conf:

Hahahahaha
There is no such thing as Thin Air: Thin Air is full of the particles of creation.

Take something that costs you nothing but effort;
And practice, practice, practice until you make it something fabulous.

"...Wyrde saves oft the man undoomed
If he undaunted be....". (Beowulf)....
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 10:25 #12

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cantata wrote:
psketti wrote:
Ok, I don't get it :emb:


:poke:

Hahaha, your bewilderment is the funniest part of the thread so far, psketti :D


(Has the penny dropped now? A twig is like a stick... stick-like = sticky; not "gooey sticky"...) :conf:

Hahahahaha

:emb: :emb: :emb:

:couch:


:spliff:
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 11:49 #13

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I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 12:12 #14

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quietgirl wrote:
I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy


Hahahahaha, another who didn't twig on! :D


(My own home-made terrible joke there! :cool: D'ya geddit? Another pun on twig? Geddit?).

Hahahahaha, sometimes I really amuse myself! :D

:teef:
There is no such thing as Thin Air: Thin Air is full of the particles of creation.

Take something that costs you nothing but effort;
And practice, practice, practice until you make it something fabulous.

"...Wyrde saves oft the man undoomed
If he undaunted be....". (Beowulf)....
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 12:34 #15

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cantata wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy


Hahahahaha, another who didn't twig on! :D


(My own home-made terrible joke there! :cool: D'ya geddit? Another pun on twig? Geddit?).

Hahahahaha, sometimes I really amuse myself! :D

:teef:

Groan - yes, I geddit! :chuckle:

(Am racking my brains for another twig pun but can't quite come up with anything at the moment - but don't worry, I'll stick at it until I think of something! :rofl: )

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 12:45 #16

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quietgirl wrote:
cantata wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy


Hahahahaha, another who didn't twig on! :D


(My own home-made terrible joke there! :cool: D'ya geddit? Another pun on twig? Geddit?).

Hahahahaha, sometimes I really amuse myself! :D

:teef:

Groan - yes, I geddit! :chuckle:

(Am racking my brains for another twig pun but can't quite come up with anything at the moment - but don't worry, I'll stick at it until I think of something! :rofl: )

Mandy

Stick it to me, Mandy. I've quite a high tolerance for twig jokes before I snap and have to leaf.

:facepalm:
What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.

-Buddha
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 12:53 #17

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Ab Origine wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
cantata wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy


Hahahahaha, another who didn't twig on! :D


(My own home-made terrible joke there! :cool: D'ya geddit? Another pun on twig? Geddit?).

Hahahahaha, sometimes I really amuse myself! :D

:teef:

Groan - yes, I geddit! :chuckle:

(Am racking my brains for another twig pun but can't quite come up with anything at the moment - but don't worry, I'll stick at it until I think of something! :rofl: )

Mandy

Stick it to me, Mandy. I've quite a high tolerance for twig jokes before I snap and have to leaf.

:facepalm:

I be-leaf you, abs! :D

Mandy
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. - Mother Julian of Norwich
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 13:03 #18

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Ab Origine wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
cantata wrote:
quietgirl wrote:
I am loving all these terrible jokes! :killinme:

(BTW, I took a little while to fully comprehend the twig joke, too! :emb: ).

Mandy


Hahahahaha, another who didn't twig on! :D


(My own home-made terrible joke there! :cool: D'ya geddit? Another pun on twig? Geddit?).

Hahahahaha, sometimes I really amuse myself! :D

:teef:

Groan - yes, I geddit! :chuckle:

(Am racking my brains for another twig pun but can't quite come up with anything at the moment - but don't worry, I'll stick at it until I think of something! :rofl: )

Mandy

Stick it to me, Mandy. I've quite a high tolerance for twig jokes before I snap and have to leaf.

:facepalm:

Hahaha. So take a bough, abs, and go branch out. :D Don't want you getting rooted.

:)
There is no such thing as Thin Air: Thin Air is full of the particles of creation.

Take something that costs you nothing but effort;
And practice, practice, practice until you make it something fabulous.

"...Wyrde saves oft the man undoomed
If he undaunted be....". (Beowulf)....
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 21 May 2012 13:05 #19

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:suicide: :pmsl:
my limbless friend will die alone
a torso of flesh upon the throne

Violence is not the answer, it is the question. the answer is yes.
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Re: Really, really terrible joke! 24 May 2012 03:58 #20

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I'm saving that one to tell my other half..........just to annoy him :chuckle:
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