badfish wrote:
Or in many circumstance, should never be forced to have to deal with the blood relatives they were taken from or were put up for adoption from. Just saying...I would guess more times then not, meeting those people might be a disappointment.
well in cases yes, the birth family could be really terrible....but then, they might not be that bad, jus not as well off financially. We dont have the right to play eugenics for the sake of eugenics.
My mother was hounded by the SS to give me up, as she initially contacted them, then gave them a bit of the run around. She eventually agreed and adopted me. She was working class as was my birth family who said they didnt trust social services and would support my mother with me. Regardless, I was farmed to a middleclass family living in a posh estate. They ticked all the boxes.....except.....they werent my real family. And because I wasnt their real child, i was kicked out numerous occaisions as soon as i hit 17 (this is common for adoptive families to throw their children out as the bonds not there to 'go the extra mile at resolving tensions')
anyhoo, so when i have my own children, they get taken off me, because a reason is, adoptive children are essentially fucked so cant be good parents themselves. My adoptive mother then takes in my son. My baby daughter is given to my abusive alcho ex, the father. My mother has now thrown my son out (aged 13 and recently 14) and he lives with me now and we are each others only family. He argued with my mother saying shes not his family and his mam (me) is the only real family hes got. We are having a blast being reunited <3
So....dont underestimate real families...the pull and draw is so sacred and strong and essential to a secure healthy adult. Even if theyre not model families, they still tend to be better than adoption in the bigger picture.
We should support (not dictate) parents who havent really got their shit together for whatever reason within reason, to provide stable loving care for their children, rather than seperate and divide families apart by putting children in foster care, which is often a negative placement for the child, and natural parents