Well, for starters we could make that fake smile frosty-white by brushing our teeth with an Oral-B electric toothbrush. "Oral-B is getting behind the London 2012 Olympics," cheers the Boots website. "Share the excitement with their Professional Care 500 floss action electric toothbrush." Yes: the exhilaration, the agony, the sheer elation experienced by athletes operating at the peak of their physical aptitude – all this can be yours in the form of a vibrating twig you stick in your mouth.

In case you think the mere notion of an official Olympic electric toothbrush is absurd, remember: athletes need clean teeth to attain peak performance. Steve Ovett was the favourite to win the 1500m at the 1980 Moscow Olympics, but was hopelessly weighed down by a heavy buildup of plaque that had accumulated in his mouth in the months leading up to the contest, allowing Sebastian Coe to snatch the gold.

Oral-B's official Olympic toothbrush exists because its parent company, Procter & Gamble, has a sponsorship deal enabling it to associate all its products with the Games. That's why if you look up Viakal limescale remover on a supermarket website, the famous five interlocking rings pop up alongside it. This in no way cheapens the Olympic emblem, which traditionally symbolises global unity, peaceful competition and gleaming stainless steel shower baskets.

When you're done sprucing up your teeth and your bathroom, you could further embrace the Olympic spirit by slurping a Coca-Cola (official Olympic drink) followed by a Twirl from Cadbury's (official Olympic snack provider). Or really go the whole hog and polish off a couple of Sausage-and-Egg McMuffins at your local McDonald's (official Olympic restaurant), after which you should be ready to represent Britain in the 400-litre diarrhoea.

Instead, the Olympic rings have been whored around so much they've become valueless: a status symbol for a few corporations to tote like a badge for several weeks, impressing almost no one except themselves. It's bizarre, and it's increasingly far removed from the event itself, which, last time I checked, chiefly involves running around and jumping over things. And, if you're British, moaning about the traffic.

Holy cow, I'm happy to be far from London/UK atm....

How long will the olympic occult go on? How many weeks you peeps have to watch that crap? I don't know shit, I don't read papers or watch TV, so I have no idea of the olympicrap timetable.... Heck, I'm sure Finnish media is all over that crock of shit.

If you've nowt better to do spend the afternoon asking the staff "where's the Pepsi?"

oioioi wrote:


see I'm almost rising to you ...but holding back .........the whole olympic corporation sponsorship is a bit odd though , you might overlook now your are in Greece and sitting on Mount Olympia with the origninal Gods

you have staff!!!!

you big anacharist (excuse my spelling , I don't know how to spell anacharist_. but if I spelled it correctly please tell me )

Now only wondering about worring about weither I spelled/spelt Anacharist correctly .

anchist

anarachist

antchrist

jobby

sorry that spelling error in the title was bugging me ... Omlympics.

changed it to olympics...unless it was intentional, if it was i am sorry